More than I realized...

It must be that some of you are sharing my blog address with people that you know. I have seen more people visiting, and they are searching for specific posts. I pray that they can see the growth that I have experienced since I began this whole phenomenon called "blogging". It isn't about a gripe session...and some of you have been gracious enough to allow me that. I pray that in my own vulnerability you have seen some of your own issues and been encouraged to embrace the changes that God expects out of us.

I have been walking in places that where I know that the Holy Spirit gently leads me so that I can get rid of the "yuck" that still resides in my flesh. I have to tell you in being quiet before God... I can see that he burns out the "dross." A refining fire. And while my health issues seems to be at the forefront of some of this, I believe that this is so much more. It is about taking my place in my husband's ministry. It is about being bold enough to share with people what I have learned in my time here... and I am embracing that more everyday.

I don't want to get stuck in a rut of "us 4 and no more." I need to be open to embrace the people that God is sending our way. I am learning that doing the same thing that I used to do... isn't enough. We need to push beyond our comfort zone. To be more than we thought we could be. To use the authority that is Christ has given and reach places that we didn't know we could. This isn't about me being "so good"; it is about realizing that all of us who call ourselves Christians are on the SAME journey. If we aren't lifting one another up then we aren't accomplishing Christ's commandments. And what does that mean to the Christian?

There are some folks who have worn the "tag" Christian for years. And yet the fruits of the spirit are not evident in their lives. They will never reach the fullness of God's will for them. They want to march around the same issues that have plagued them for years...and refuse to embrace correction or change. I refuse to be a "right" fighter. Do you know what I mean? A right fighter is someone who takes the moral high ground and insists that they are right...even when they aren't. They can stand and say God blesses me and so I must be in God's will. And truth be told, God blesses us because we serve a GOOD God. One who loves us... A God who wants us to be better than we were yesterday. And because WE love him, we need to become the mirror image of Christ. To be anything less... is to never know God's full potential for your life, for your marriage, for your future.

We need to take off the paradigms that we look at the world through and ask God to replace our vision of things. We need to see things the way that Jesus would. What would we think of a Christ who snickered at the clothes someone wore... or the weight that they carry... or the flaws they openly display? I don't know about you...but that is taking away everything that I love about being a Christ follower.

So for anyone that I have done this to or with...Shame on me. I am sorry. Deeply sorry for any of Christ's beloved that I didn't defend like I would my own natural brothers. If I didn't give one of the hurting their time to be heard, I pray that God will give me the opportunity to make it up to them.

Lord, help me to be the WOMAN that you know I can be. Help me to not get caught up in the things that the enemy would use to destroy my witness. That everyone who reads my blog or happens upon it, that they would apply the things that are written here to their own hearts and allow the change that you want in each of us.

Good Night all... talk to ya next time!
^j^

Aye! What a headache!

So I am sure that there are bunches and bunches of people out there that have headaches. I have always had them. I get them when I am stressed...I get them when I don't get enough sleep...I get them when the sun shines...I get them when it rains... Are you seeing the issue? I have them a lot.

In sitting and thinking about things today, I don't know if I can remember a day when I really felt good. It has been so long. Some days are better than others. I just would like to see a few that are REALLY good. So if any of you are praying out there...could you just pray for some good days for me? I need 'em. So many things that I would like to be doing, and just don't because of the way that I feel.

I also need to take a minute to thank my friends. You are so good to me. You listen to me and MY issues... You pray for me when you probably think I would be better served in the loony bin! :) You are just there to be MY friends. I don't want a day to go by that you aren't sure that I am grateful for you. For my scrap girls... who I can be so real with...and you still call or listen to me rant for 2 hours! Thanks! For Joyce, who helps me accomplish the things that I need to accomplish. She has been such a blessing. Patti... know that distance doesn't keep you out of my heart or off of my mind. I love that you trust me. Jules, you too! I hope that you know that love runs deeper than our current circumstances...and I love you. For my Mom, who is my friend too. Her unconditional love has been a constant in my 35 years. She has loved me when I was sure no one else did or could. For those that are just getting to know me and my idiosyncrasies. Be patient... there is sanity in there somewhere...it is like a treasure, you have to look to find it!

And these are just the ladies. Please know that this is not the exhaustive list of people that I consider my friends... I just have been reflecting on the fact that God has blessed this displaced NY'er. I don't ever want to forget the people who SHOW their love to us. Talk is cheap. I am talking about a demonstrative love. One where you know that it is real. I appreciate these people because they SHOW their love. I hope that in some way I have been a friend to all of you as well... by some action or call...or email...or sharing a stamp set...(lol) something that is tangible so that you know that I do care about each of you.

I have heard it said many times that gratitude unexpressed in ingratitude. So many times we get caught up in what WE have going on...and forget to be about the most important things in this world. It is all about family...friends... Building relationships that allow you to not feel alone. To have someone that you can reach out to when you need an ear... or a stamp pad...or a meal prepared.

So while my head is aching tonight... know that I am grateful for each of you in my life. The role that you play was God ordained for you to star in. He gave each of you to me so that I could be blessed..and in turn bless you and/or someone else.

For all of you who read my blog, (and my audience is small) know that I am grateful for you. I am grateful to you, but more than that I am grateful to God...He chose to give each of you to me. And He couldn't have done a better job!

Ok.. Early Saturday II

One would think that I would be in bed now. One would think that it being the wee hours of the morning, I would be ready to lay my head on a pillow and just REST. But not this body. I am up and my mind just goes from one thing to the next. Sleep will not find me when I am like this.

I have had one of "those weeks". It is probably why I haven't written for days. I am UNCOMFORTABLE! I hate that feeling. Where my skin isn't quite where I belong. Some times I am perfectly content, and the next I am thinking about 28 other things that will satisfy whatever is lacking in me.

Next week we mark a full year that I have been sick. Have I mentioned that I am ready for it to be over? I am ready to be able to go INTO my closet and bend and get a pair of shoes without getting nauseated. (I really struggle in small spaces) Or to clean a full room without having to take a pill to just make it through half of the work?

I am still not taking any of the prescription drugs except an occasional phenergan. Other than that I manage the vertigo and the fibro with over the counter stuff. Not that it is any better for me, but 90% of the time I wouldn't get up and go if I didn't have some kind of appointment or task at hand. Ok...enough about being sick. That will depress me...and let's be honest, I am SO over it!

I want to get back to the place I was just a few weeks ago. Where I felt strong in my spirit. Where I knew that what I was hearing was just for me...and was straight from the Lord. I don't know that I feel down, I just feel like I am striking on the off-beat. Does that make sense? Like some how my steps, that were an easy stride, have become an awkward dance. One where I don't know the routine.

It is in times like this that I have to take the time to remind myself of ALL of the things that I am 100% sure of.

1. That God loves me
2. That He knows about everything I think and feel
3. That He sees my HEART, when men have no idea
4. That when my flesh is not cooperating, my spirit can rise above it.
5. That EVERYTHING will be turned around for my good
6. That He is ALWAYS on time, even when I am always late
7. That He has every situation in his control
8. That He won't allow ANYTHING to come my way that I can't bear
9. That He has a plan that is better than anything I could even dream up
10. That He didn't bring me to this place, to sit back and laugh at my failures. He is my biggest cheerleader....Coaxing me to RUN ...Run the race that is put before me. And to finish it with the grace and mercy he provides daily.

Maybe these are the things that I need to focus on. In dwelling on the things that I know for sure, I can find shelter from all the other stuff. You know what I mean, time to crucify the flesh so that the spirit can be victorious.

For anyone struggling, God knows right where you are too. He sees through all of the "stuff" down to the very soul...knowing even the intentions of your heart. He isn't throwing obstacles in your way. He is offering an strong arm to steady you as you have to step over those things in this journey. He is just waiting for us to CHOOSE to react differently than we did the last time... or CHOOSE to hold our tongue. Or CHOOSE to be patient and wait for his VERY best instead of settling on what we had planned. Or CHOOSE to not rely on our "feelings"but to remember that we serve a God who is more than able to work in all situations.

I am going to put this head on a pillow. Somehow I feel it will be a little easier to find some rest!!

Thanks all!
^j^

Early Saturday

We have just moved from Friday to Saturday. And I am awake to usher it in. Yeah, no reason why. Just me and the laptop up at our house. EVERYONE else has been in bed for hours. It is in the wee morning hours that I can almost hear my own thoughts recently.

Things are busy. With the weather breaking, things have a tendency to get added to the list of "things to do" After Glen spent a full day in the yard, things are looking much better around here. There is still some branches and leaves that need to be disposed of, but we are not looking like the ghetto anymore!! :)

Later this morning is the newcomers breakfast. We are expecting over 20 people. (I am telling you that we are seeing the church grow! It has been such a blessing) And then a FULL day of keeping the kids out of Glen's hair. Please know that we have been on spring break here. So having the kids home this week has been great...but I am READY to get them out from under my feet for a minute.

I am really up for some stamping. I keep saying that I am going to start posting my pictures of the cards and scrapbook pages that I have been doing, and yet, those cards end up going out in the mail without a snapshot being taken!

I did manage to take some pictures of Ethen Michael today. I was with him while his mommy was at work. His daddy is looking better, talking better...and is actually eating a little bit. Bryan has lost a lot of weight, but he looks good! I am anxious to see him finish up this antibiotic round to see how he feels without medicine on board. I pray that he is the picture of health. It will be so nice, for him, for Dawn and for Ethen. I'll post a picture when I get the new ones down loaded from the camera! He is the sweetest.

I was hoping to get some photos of the kids this week. But that didn't happen, and with the weather that is forcasted this weekend, it won't be happening this weekend either. I am going to try to do better about carrying my camera with me more. I need to take the time to capture more of our everyday life. It is during our everyday the most important things happen.

For those who now read my blog on a regular basis...know that I appreciate it. In re-reading some of it, I see myself changing. Funny, huh? I am sure that this is a season of change for me. Both because of my health issues, and work, but that stuff will take care of itself. God is dealing with me about the more important things. And I am in a place where I am ready.

Our love to all of you!!!
^j^

God's promises

I woke up yesterday morning... feeling bad. Just achy and miserable. I wandered to my computer to find that someone we know had lost her mom unexpectedly.

What a shock! A lady, younger than my own parents, had passed away leaving behind children, grand kids, a husband. Their near future was full of plans of visiting and spending time and loving.

I sent an email...letting her know that their family is in my thoughts and our prayers...but her situation brought more to mind than just your "normal" condolences.

My mind went to God's promises.

The Word of God contains so many promises. Ones that we need to learn to lean on...to stand on...to claim with the authority we have as servants of Christ. But our length of time on earth is not a promise. We have an appointed time to meet our Maker. This lady had hers. I will have mine. I am sure that there are some who would love to have just one more day with a mom or a grandma. I am sure that one more day would be filled with words of love and encouragement. Not remembering the bitter times, or the times when we failed each other.

What legacy are we leaving? Is it one that points to Christ? Is it one that only reminds people of the times that were bad, or hard? I know that God is revealing something new to me about the way we live our lives. Most of which is just for me. And I have to tell you, that learning this lesson, even though I have had to walk through some thorns to get to this place, is so good.

Compromise can not be a part of a Christian's walk. It is truly a walk of ALL or NONE. In an age when even CHURCHES are afraid to preach the truth, now is not the time to water it down to be sure it is palatable for all. It is what it is! No other book holds the power of life or death. There are things that scripture calls sin, and yet because it isn't politically correct...we don't mention those things from the pulpit. And yet, as stern as that seems, ALL of it is tempered in love.

How will they know unless someone goes to them in love to tell them it is wrong?

It seems that the buzz word for this type of thing is judgement. This isn't about judging others. It is about looking in our own hearts and firming up the things that we believe. And then living a life that is attractive to the lost and hurting...and being open to sharing ALL of us with others. Not just the pretty face that we sometimes put on for "outsiders" to see.

I pray that when it is my time, or God calls home someone that I love, our time together will be filled with stories of God's grace and goodness. I hope that the times of pain or harsh words are forgiven and truly forgotten. I pray that in loss, the joy of knowing someone has made it home, is a comfort.

That is my prayer for this family.

He is RISEN, Allelujah!

Easter Sunday is winding down. It has been a good Resurrection Sunday. Things are getting quiet again. We thought that CFC saw record #'s last week, only to have that happen THIS WEEK. With 8 people accepting Christ as their savior. I would say that is enough to make it a good day!

I did some shopping yesterday, so that the Keefer family would look sharp for church. The kids wore peach, Glen and I wore aqua. (hee hee, I made sure that Glen and I matched,

I get such a kick out of silly things!!)

Here is a picture of the two of us following service this morning.

I know, I know...stuck in the 80's. (my hair, not my husband ) lololol

Glen's message was very good this morning. Titled " Why the Cross...the Story of four gardens" He went on to take us through 4 special gardens. Starting in Eden, walking through Gethsemane on to the Garden tomb, and finally the garden of our hearts as described in Jesus parable told to us in Matthew chapter 13.

It is when he delivers messages like this, that I know God speaks to my main squeeze! He was working so diligently in the yard on Friday, (his day off from BOTH jobs) when he came into the living room (where I was folding clothes). He quickly pulled out a sheet of paper to jot down one more thought the Holy Spirit had inspired in him. This happens at some crazy times. Middle of the night...Glen will stir and hop up just long enough to write down what ever thought has wandered through his mind.

We have met some "preachers" lately that teach from a head knowledge. I am sure that their messages are stirring and probably eloquent. But I want more than a man's understanding of the things of God. These same men, who I am sure love God, just can't seem to take that step in obedience and give to the people what God has for them for that moment. Let's be clear, this is not a knock on those men. I applaud anyone who is willing to take up ministry as a career. But when I speak with someone who LOVES God, that conversation should feel like talking to a friend that I have known for a long time. I am learning that this is a rare thing.

Glen strives for this. He strives to live Christ out loud. It is why I married him. It is why I love him. It is why I have put up with him for over half of my life! :) I can honestly say, that we would not have made it this far without Christ in the center of our family. I am sure that there are times when people wonder "WHY?" Why do they do this...or refrain from that? It is all a matter of living by our convictions, to walk outside that is just not a place that I can go. Not for friendship, not for money, not for anything. I hope that the people around us know that we live our faith. If it makes me "different", that is ok.

So for those of you, who say "Those are some strange folks". That is ok...it is all a matter of whose yard stick you are measuring us by!


LOVE Ya'll
^j^

Back from the Beach

So today I attended a class trip with my Kelsey. Back when I signed up, I guess I was feeling some of that "mom guilt" because I would not really ever choose to go with a bunch of kids (that are not mine) on a full day trip. Especially DIZZY! But I made it home in one piece. PHEW! I think Kelsey "sold" this trip as a photo opportunity for she and I to be on the beach! (smart cookie...she knows how to get mom to do what she would like)

Here is KJ running on the beach. I got to use the zoom lens that I have for my camera. The best part of the pictures that I took...is that she didn't know that I was taking them!

For those of you in colder climates...it was in the 60's. Here is a picture of the ocean...if you close your eyes and listen, you can hear the waves breaking and the seagulls calling in the distance.

It was windy, but a beautiful day to be on the beach...and other than the kids we took...there was no one else! Made it easy to get some nice pictures of the waves!

Do you see that wave?!? Awesome power contained in that wave. They are stunning to look at with the sun reflecting off of them, but let the clouds grow dark. With howling winds and gray skies, the waves can be a dangerous place. God has not promised us a life with no "waves" Sometimes my life is like those waves in the sunlight, when I know that the Holy Spirit is inspiring me to see the beauty of a circumstance, or in my brothers and sisters. Other times, when the skies are dark, and we are facing something that looks so ominous, that is when we need to hide ourselves in the hollow of God's hand until the storm passes over. Ah, it is in a time when our faith is tested; we can learn that we serve a God who sticks closer than a brother!

Realize today that God allows rain to fall on the just and the unjust. It isn't about punishment! It is about understanding that good and bad things happen to each and every human being on this planet. (Thanks Adam & Eve) If we can retrain our brains to see EVERY circumstance as an opportunity to prove where we are in our Christian walk, we may get a picture that we need more growth, more love, more understanding than we originally thought.

If we believe that our steps are ordered of the Lord, (and I firmly do) then we can walk and not grow weary...we can run and not faint. God will give us the ability to be EXACTLY what he has called us to be.

Where are your feet? Are they ready for the race? I realize today sometimes they are wrapped in army boots preparing for battle, other days...they may look like this.

Love you all!

^j^